In bullets we trust
by Angevelinka
Summary: It was supposed to be a clean job; no death, no bodies, all leading him to the best position of don in the best known mafia group on the west side of the country. But then this blonde had to come in and destroy everything. Or had he?... GaaNaru NaruGaa
1. Zero

_AN: This is the second world of RP I had with Panur. It contains a lot of cursing __as the whole story winds around the crime world. Feel warned and… enjoy XD_

Lady Luck was on his side.

_He breathed as he moved his hands up the back of the blond guy before him, pressing the skin, pursuing every cavern and tracing every scar with his long, warm fingers._

'You could've painted it black. For all the sins you've made.' He heard the phantom of a voice. Kankuro was always a smartass, but he never knew when to shut up.

The gun in his hands shone in the bright daylight as he touched it's bloody surface, cleaning, cleansing, petting it. His silvery red prolongation of a hand.

'I don't have to.' he murmured against the fresh air of the room, seeing how dust danced before his eyes and made his toy shine like a lover seen in a drunk memory 'My heart is black enough.'

Kankuro did not comment on them ever again.


	2. One

_AN: As I submitted this chapter in a rush it contained a few mistakes that shouldn't have been here. It's redone now. _

_Q: Why is Naruto and Gaara constantly called 'Blond' and 'Redhead'?_

_A: Because they don't know each other's names. Gaara does introduce himself quickly, but Naruto hesitates quite long before he finally decides to spill his name. That's why he is 'Blond' for a long time._

'I didn't do it!' That's what the blond said. Considering he was the only thing left alive in a room with seven people in it, the statement would have been laughable if it hadn't been so sad.

How the hell had this happened anyway? The job had been supposed to be so simple, and yet thing had gone so horribly, horribly wrong. Get in, do your thing, get out. It wasn't that hard, was it? Apparently, the answer was yes, because here he was, on the bad end of a shiny pistol held by a redhead wearing way too much eyeliner and looking at him with the same amount of interest one regarded a cockroach. If asked how he had ended in this situation, his answer provably would have to be `I think I blinked and missed something`.

'Bullshit.' The trigger dangled, announcing that the good old CZ 27 will soon shoot a hole in the blond's head. The redhead didn't even blink at the surroundings, but this, all this... He came here to work with people. Or rather - one person. To shoot him dead. He came in - and what was there? Seven dead bodies, including the one he was supposed to take care of. That was what one would call a bad day at work, definitely.

'If not you' he said, getting out one of his hands outside of his pocket 'Then who did this?'

The blue eye widened, the other being closed with dark marks around the edges. Something had gotten into it when the TV he had been using to cover from the shooting exploded. He lowered his arms lightly when they started getting tired from his default `I'm harmless, please don't shoot me` stance, but raised them back up when the redhead followed the movement by doing something to his gun that clicked. As far as he knew the only things you clicked on guns and didn't go pow were their safeties.

'Bu-but…! I really didn't do it!' the blond whined, looking very much like if he would burst into tears any second. 'Really! Seriously! I don't even know these guys! I don't know why they're here!' he sniffed pathetically. 'Pleeease, let me go, whatever these guys did, I have nothing to do with them!'

'Bullshit!' The gun fired, missing blond's ear by millimeters. 'If you don't know why they're here then why the hell are you here?'

The redhead angered and calmed down immediately. He saw the injuries of the other, but didn't care for them in even one bit. The blond, as pathetic as it looked like, played the wrong tunes in his usual, hold-them-in-the-range-of-fire-shot. He was not panicking. He was just whining at him. There was something wrong. He glanced sideways, noticing how silent it was and seeing that he was not visible from the cameras, but still, he felt observed. Was there more...

'Who are you working with?' The gun clicked again.

The blond shrieked like a girl and curled on his side, hands covering his face.

'What the fuck is your problem?' he asked, trying to open his eye and then wincing at how much it stung. 'Working? What the fuck? I was here before they came! I-I was with- with the guy-'

He made gesture in the general direction of a man wearing a dark blue chemise, who happened to be right across of him, his tan skin turned a few shades paler as he realized he had landed on most of the contents of the guy's head.

'Oh… ew. Ew. Gross.' He made more disgusted sounds as he wiped his hand on the carpet, high pitched whimpers coming in between the sounds every now and then.

The redhead looked at him with disgust and tsked. No, he was wrong, the tunes were hit right. He was just too confused to get things like they should be. This pathetic blond was just another passer-by. But if not the blond, then who?... He looked around but saw no clues. This was something definitely not right and he felt alarmed by it. More, he was not the only one. He whipped his head wildly when he heard steps. Of course, everyone will be interested in this mess. Heck, he heard the guns from meters away... And that meant only one thing. Witnesses. Police. Was it possible that it was police?... Either way, it was too late for him.

He had to get out of there as soon as possible. He turned to the blond, wondering if not shoot him to have his mouth shut, but it came out as unnecessary as door banged down and people entered the room.

'Freeze!'

Yep, police. Just his luck. Like hell he was letting his work go undone. It took him one second to shoot two frontal policemen. He lunged to the nearest door. He'd come out dead or alive. Third option was out of question.

Blond curled on himself as the police came, this time the shriek coming out just a tad less girly than before. He stared in horror at the redhead.

'What the—you shot the police? You don't shoot the police!' Blond scrambled to his feet, grabbed the nearest window quickly climbing to the balcony and changing rooms with the next one. 'Fuck, this, I'm not staying!'

He looked down, wincing at the amount of police cars he saw approaching.

'Fuuuck. My horoscope didn't say anything about this.' He looked down, judging the height, then changed sides with the banister and let himself drop. He caught the balcony below it, adjusted himself, then dropped again. He did this two more times, before landing on a crouch on the street. Lucky him, most people were too busy going to see what the commotion was about.

In the meantime, redhead wildly ran through the building, making more steps than he thought his legs would allow him to make. Unfortunately, he had ran into the blind passage - there was nothing else than a wall and a window. Hearing that everybody were on his steps he looked through it and made the quickest prayer he had ever said: 'Amen.' And he jumped of the window. Safely, he had landed on the roof of the car, which, as he saw when he tumbled down from it, started by the blond he met before. Not the way normal cars were started. He did not think twice, as thinking twice cost life - he immediately pointed his gun at the blond, ran around the car and hoped in on the passenger's side.

'GO!' he shouted, clicking his gun again with a shivering hand. Definitely not his day.

Had Yashamaru not prayed for him this time or what?

Blond gaped at the fact he found himself in the wrong end of redhead's gun again, just when he was about to make a smooth, flawless escape –he'd even already singled the positive and negative cables and everything!- now Red was in the car, the police was on the balcony and pointing at them—

'Oh, Hell, no!' He grabbed his wrist and pinned it to the roof of the car as he reared back his other hand, fully intended to punch redhead's pretty makeup-ey face with it. He really was not a violent guy by nature, but today just hadn't been his day, and he felt he was entitled to give in to his inner caveman and crush some skulls.

'Freeze! Get out of the car with-' Such was not his luck. Releasing redhead's hand, he crossed the cables, slammed the accelerator, changed velocity's and nearly ran over the three police officers who were smart enough to get out of the way in the nick of time.

The redhead almost toppled down his seat, and if he hadn't been holding his gun like he should have, he'd shot his own foot. But it was the way car were driven at escapes, so he only cursed and got back to his seat and held on a seatbelt, not clicking it. If he was supposed to get out quick, he couldn't strap himself with such obstacles.

The blond let go of it so suddenly he'd probably would, but since he was a pro - it didn't happen.

'Why are you following me?' blond cried, turning the wheel sharply to catch a turn. Redhead pressed against his side and blond, not feeling affectionate at all, pushed his face away and pressed it to the windshield. 'I told you I didn't do anything, why do you have to drag me into your problems?' As if summoned by the conversation, the sound of sirens could be heard. Lots of sirens, and not far away at all. Feeling at the epitome of maturity, the blond turned to glare at the redhead. 'I hate you!'

'Well I don't like you at all either!' answered redhead 'Not that I have any other choice! Drive instead of talking! If they catch us it's your fault! Fuck!...' The police was trying to shoot their heels. Without a second thought he opened a window and shot back at them. No, he didn't scratch their heels, but he crashed the window if the closest car, that counted too. He closed the window and reloaded his gun. 'I will kill you if they'll catch us.'

Apparently not done with dealing with his inner four-year-old, the blond mimicked the redhead's speech in falsetto.

'If they catch us it's YOUR fault. I didn't have the police after me until you tried to play Spiderman in my car!' He changed speeds again and bypassed a family car and a truck.

'I'm not the one driving here! Look out!' They barely missed a sign of the allowed speed. Car scratched it and got a nice gash on one of the sides. 'Holly duh! Can you look where are you driving instead of acting like a little kid?' He didn't know when he started arguing with his victim instead of threatening it, but his nerves weren't exactly good in discussion and had upper hand. Or lines. Of nerves. Something like that.

'Hey, I just had this idea, why don't I just jump off and then you won't have to deal with my driving and my character?' Another harsh turn, redhead again pressed to his side, and blond again used his hand to press redhead's face against the opposite windshield, away from him.

'Stop fucking touching me!' The redhead growled and slapped blond's hand harshly. 'What the hell, are you gay or what?'

'Ha!' blond exclaimed, almost as if he were reading out loud a comic book without being particularly proficient on it. Too much traffic—slamming his hand on the honk, he had the car climb on the fortunately mostly empty sidewalk. 'I'm asked about my sexuality by Mr. walking advertisement for Maybelline! How many bottles of kohl died to make your eyes so pretty, huh? I'm surprised you don't have the whole crew of Animal Planet after you, I heard pandas are an endangered species!'

'What the hell, are you gay or what?' The redhead looked at him bemused. Then he untriggered his gun and looked through the front window on their, very uneasy, way. 'So you are gay.' he spoke in a calm tone 'You were checking me out.' Then, as if something bit him, he twitched and tsked, then caught the blond by his neck and pushed him forward so he nearly glued his face to the glass. 'Could you just fucking drive in silence?'

Blond blinked.

'Oh, God… yes.' he whispered, batting his blue eye, before suddenly slamming the brake, apparently with the sole purpose of making redhead slam his head against the windshield, barely keeping himself from doing the same by pressing a hand against it. 'You know, that's the first thing I noticed… In between the senseless murder and you trying to fucking ruin my life… I couldn't help being CAPTIVATED-' accelerator was pressed once again and this time Gaara bounced between passenger side and the backseats. '-by your good looks and CAPTIVATING personality! Because the first thing I check about freaks trying to kill me is their ass! Yes!'

Something crashed loudly behind them. Hopefully a police car.

'Do tell, is the entrance to your fan club for free, or do I need to sign somewhere and sell my kidneys for the privilege of standing in the line?'

The redhead groaned, trying to get a hold in himself. He banged his head pretty hard and it hurt him now like hell. But he quickly regained his posture and crawled back to the front seat. He gritted his teeth in pain and looked at the blond with a clear impatience written in his eyes.

'Fuck you.' he muttered in the calmest and the most silent voices he ever used and aimed for the blond's balls. Apparently blond was paying more attention to him than to the road, because he shrieked and grabbed at the redhead's wrist, yanking his precious reproductive organs out of the immediate line of fire. Gun went off, destroying blond's window. Blond shrieked again and elbowed redhead in the face.

'The fuck is wrong with you?'

'I'm a guy with a gun and I can kill you dead, nothing's wrong with me. ' said Gaara in a dangerous tone, touching his bruised jaw 'It's time you noticed it's not a toy, idiot. I told you to shut, so drive.' With those words he moved his fingers, so the gun got loose and caught it with his other palm. It was pointed at the blond once again. 'You understand, bitch? I'm a fucking killer.'

Blond glared.

'You are a fucking bitch, that's what you are!' With those words he slammed the brake again, only this time when the redhead went against the windshield, he took the chance to punch him again, then open the door and ran out of it. 'And I bet you are not even a natural redhead!' he yelled as he ran through the panicking crowds, disappearing down a set of stairs that went to the subway.

Gaara moaned, trying to relock his strained jaw. That was a one punch too much. He growled through his teeth, then got out of the car, hearing how police sirens were going off and were actually pretty close. He didn't think twice. He had ran exactly the same way the blond did. He wanted to shoot him on the knee. Or an elbow. Though a ball or two would be good also. He owed that to him. He pushed an old lady on some younger miss and jumped through the ticket's fence. There! He saw him. That blond bitch.

'Hey, you!' he shouted, then he bit his tongue, knowing, that he made one of those stupid elementary mistakes. You don't show your victim you see it. Instead of dwelling on it, he run down the next path of stairs and pushed past another old geezer, then some teenager, then a mother and kid then... shit! The tube was coming. And so were policemen. He almost forgot why was he running away, he was so angry. But if he shot him from this far distance...

'This is police! Freeze! Don't move!'

'Fuck you!' he screamed. He screamed more, but the tube went on the station with a loud screech, so it drowned in it. He looked forward again... there. It took him only three bodies to push to pinpoint the blond and get into the tube. The police got in after him. Like in a stupid old gangster movie. He groaned inwardly and jumped back, placing a strong kick in policeman's chest. The other, surprised, tumbled backward.

It took only clicking the gun at his head so he'd be less objective and one more kick to get him out of the train. The door has closed and they were on their way again. Without the police. The blond and him. That little bitch!...

Gaara immediately started jogging forward, where he saw the blond a few seconds ago. One door, one place, second door, second place, third door, third... He was nowhere to be seen.

He turned around wildly, not bothering to hide a gun, but people seemed to be blind to the fact he was holding it. Only two people had noticed, but were undecided yet if to start panicking or not. Gaara smirked. Blond hair and newspaper. There you are, bitch. He clicked a gun and pointed it at the person through the newspaper.

'Just so you know' he said drowsily, smirking 'There's no redder natural red head than me in the whole district. It's because my mom drank blood when I was in a womb.'

Click.

Blond pulled the newspaper down, looking at redhead with annoyed eyes that promptly widened when he realized what the other held in his hands, his mouth working a few times but no actual sound escaping it. Brown eyes. Wrong blonde.

Shit. Gaara lowered his gun down immediately.

'Advertisement.' he said, then turned on his heels and stomped out of the place to find that no, the blond wasn't in the last carriage also. He looked at the informatory board and groaned. Yoghurt Street. The ice-cream parlors and candy stores on the other side of the town. Definitely not a place close to his home. But he had no choice. Once the tube has stopped, he stepped out, hiding his gun. Four hours away from home...

He took a bus knowing, that if anything, he was searched in the underground and in possible quick badass cars. If anything, old buses was the best choice. And it was not like if anything could happen to him there. He was the worst from hooligans that took this route every day.

He had nothing to be afraid of.


	3. Two

It took him five hours to arrive at his place. Many streets had been blocked in case if he was going to get the hell outta there. Not like if he wasn't, he just needed to do something about all... this. His job. It was a total mess.

'I'm home.' he whispered to the speaker by the doors. They opened immediately. Uncle Yashamaru looked more than surprised.

'Gaara, you're... here?' he asked, like if he couldn't believe he came back to his own house.

'Yes. Everything went wrong...'

He started talking, not hiding any details - maybe beside the fact that he didn't manage to shot the blond's balls. It was obvious he'd repair this mistake soon. In the meantime, when he'll be doing his other job, when-

'You have to find the blond doll.' said Yashamaru in a calm tone 'He is the only one who saw you weren't the one who murdered those people. And you know how important it is to stay clean here, right?'

Gaara grimaced. Of course he knew. If anything, he had an idea how bad it was when you cleaned path which was not supposed to be cleaned by you. And he knew what it meant. He'd have to find the blond and keep him completely alive. In the town full of policemen searching for him.

But who knew, maybe the little bitch was running away from the town right now. He had no time to waste. He wore his frost sunglasses, a scarf that has hidden his face and a plain cap and he took his own car. He had just painted it black so nobody recognized it yet. Yet. And if they will, then it will be all this bitch's fault.

'I'll make you sing falsetto.' he said, chewing on the bitter cigarette he never smoked and started the car. He'd move earth if this was possible. The brat insulted his hair. And nobody insulted his original, fiery, unique bloody red hair. Nobody.

He drove away.

In the meantime, the blond was doing better. But not really by much.

'A redhead, really?'

'He wasn't.' Naruto winced as the pink-haired girl rubbed something that stung like hell on a deep cut he had on his shoulder. He was getting out of having it stitched because he had whined at her for as long as she examined it, and even if getting it pasted was better than having it sawn, it really wasn't by much. 'Couldn't be. It was red like… like… like your top, Sakura-chan!'

A punch on his uninjured shoulder.

'Stop staring at my top and stay still.' Naruto winced and refrained from telling her she was the one who made him move.

'What was his penis like?' A dark haired youth staring out of the window asked, turning to smile at the blond and making the tanned boy groan slightly. And not really at the slight sting of glue on the wound.

'Sai, could we please have a conversation were you don't find the need to ask that question? Once? For my birthday or maybe Christmas?'

Sai's smile was unadulterated.

'Well, you could have figured out if it's really his natural hair color or not if you had seen it.'

Naruto sighed and lifted his hand, letting the green-eyed girl wrap a roll of gauze on the wound.

'Sure Sai. Next time he has a gun pointing at my face, I'll make sure to see if I can get an eyeful.' The dark-haired teen looked thoughtful.

'Maybe he'd like it more if you showed yours first?' Both pink-head and blond took a deep sigh, and unanimously decided that the best course of action was to ignore the other.

'You sure you don't want to stay…?' Naruto smiled and reached for the plain white t-shirt he had selected from his limited wardrobe—the clothes he'd been wearing that day had been beyond salvageable.

'Yeah, don't worry about me. I can take care of myself, dattebayo!' He made a show of busying himself with his shirt to ignore the unimpressed gazes of his friends. 'Just go home guys, I'll be fine.'

He grinned at them, the marks on his cheeks making it look more feral than it should have.

'What are the odds I'll find that guy again too soon?'

More than he imagined.

Gaara spent two days on searching. He ate occasionally and slept in a car. His usual hygiene didn't suffer because of this only by sheer luck - he went to the hospital to get his usual blood exchange and there was a free bed with a free bathroom. Not a luxury, but it was better than nothing at all. He could've used the bed, but he declined - it was easier to pinpoint him if he wasn't on the move. And blood? He threw the old away while he got new. Thirteen packages. Just in case he was shot and there was not a droplet of his type in the nearest hospital. And who knew what hospital would have to treat his wounds.

Of course, he didn't need that since he was perfect and he rarely had even a scratch. But his perfectness lied in a valid spot (AB blood type anyone?) so, better safe than sorry. He was just in the middle of packing those shiny, cold packages into his car, while trying to eat a packed cookie, when it happened. He saw him. That blond bitch. He sat in the restaurant across the street and was in the middle of waiting for his order. Or rather, getting it. Ramen soup. Just as yellow as his hair.

Gaara felt, how his feet became cold while his heart felt so hot he actually could just cook eggs on his own chest. Amazing emotion, this anger and anticipation. He didn't think twice, as he rarely did when it cost lives in his profession. He grabbed one bag of his frozen blood, reloaded his gun and walked to the bar.

'One miso ramen with pork beef, egg, natto and salt!' said cheerfully the old guy, giving the blond big bowl of soup.

'And red bleach.' he added and poured hearty portion of blood into blonde's soup. Then, before the bag drained itself or his victim even could turn around, he pushed his gun in-between his shoulder blades and smiled a toothy grin while his pupils danced maniacally. 'Eat this and maybe you will have the most redheaded natural baby in the whole town.' he hissed through his smile, barely moving his jaw 'Just as my mother had me, bitch.'

Click.

Blond opened his mouth, more than likely to let out of one of those piercing, womanly shrieks that went so well with him, then promptly shut his mouth at the feeling of the gun pressing on his back, a tiny whimper escaping him. He turned big, blue eyes (eye, really… he had a white, pharmacy eye patch on the right one), already brimming with tears to the redhead and whispered.

'What the hell are you, a Jehovah witness from hell…? I can't convert. I'm a spagnostic…'

'I am your handcuffs for the nearest few days, Mr. Aspagnostic.' Now really, the blond seemed to have problems with emotions. Previously, he went all supersaiyan on him when he only wanted him to drive and now he was more than scared. 'And I'm gonna shoot through your chest so you can have some nice meat with that soup if you don't agree. What do you say?'

The last part was whispered into blond's ear as it was not safe to throw such threats just after he threw blood in someone's soup.

'Tomatoes.' he simply stated to the terrified barman as he looked at the empty, but still leaking bag. The man vanished behind the backdoor like if his feet were on fire.

He moved the gun up and down between the shoulder blades to make sure Aspagnostic felt it. If that really was his name, that was. Not that he was allowed to kill him. But the gun he was holding was not so vicious as some of his own.

'How about you play a witness of me not being in guilty of killing those people you saw before, hm?' He sweetened his voice and pressed the colt even harder between the shoulder blades of the blond. 'Don't make me shoot my guns into you, little bitch.'

'Could… could you please stop doing that?' Blond said in a tiny voice, his whole back shivering as the other pressed it in places with cuts and bruises. 'I don't want to be the one pointing it, but Freud would have a lot to say about what you are doing right now.'

What was with (allegedly) natural redhead's and invading his personal space? And was the pointing of phallic representations really necessary? This was all Sai's fault, he decided. Pointing all the karmic `double-entendre` bullshit in the universe in his direction…

'You shot two cops, who's gonna care if you killed or not those guys? You are still gonna end up in jail.' He almost added that the redhead at least could look forward to a bright future as the most sought after prison bitch, but thankfully he was able to for once catch up with his mouth before it had a chance to outrun him and he ended with a golf ball sized hole in his chest.

'Who cares about police. It's ties between our clients I have to take care of. Ever heard of Sabaku family?' With that he pressed the gun to Naruto's back even harder. 'And don't sweat yourself, I don't fuck your kind. You're too stupid for me. Besides...' The gun got lowered down and brushed the lower part of jeans, pressing lightly in the possible beginning of buttocks. '...if I wanted to fuck with you, this would be the last time you ever had sex with anyone. My ammo blows things up once it touches anything.'

'No… and If they are related to you, I'm so very saddened that state has changed…' Blond winced as the shorter male continued to poke and prod at him. His back fucking ached after the wild drive from yesterday not to mention getting roughed up before Wonder Red showed his pretty pale ass into scene. 'What, you have some especially corrosive case of STD`s?'

He winced. Someday his mouth would be the death of him. At least it would be a satisfactory death, if being the biggest smartass in town was any consolation when his family got what was left of him. If there was anything left of him. And in the hypothetical case that whatever hypothetically was left would hypothetically be found.

Gaara gritted his teeth only a little tighter.

'Bitch, bitch, bitch.' he said in a sweetened, quiet tone 'Why don't you do me a favor and eat up your soup so we can leave as quick as possible? Then we can check how many damaged organs you have and add some more. I have AIDS you see and this blood is actually mine.' Then he pushed him hard toward the bowl. Red mixed with grease and now it looked more like tomato soup instead of chicken soup. 'Eat up.'

'Bitch' looked at the soup, then at Gaara. Oddly enough, he grinned then.

'Sorry, no can do. You see, I—uh.' Whatever the hell he might have said next (and boy, was he lucky he wasn't allowed to voice that comment out) died as he blinked at the redhead, coking his head to the side and scratching his cheek. 'Um. Dunno if you are aware of it, but there's this little red dot right on the side of your face, you might want to-'

Gaara stilled. Blond was looking at the right side of his face. He turned his eyes into the mirror behind the counter. It was there, all right. He was being aimed at. After two days. Soon enough. He immediately moved back, taking the blond with him and knocking the chair over. If anything, they had to get out of there. Now. It took him five instead of three steps to get behind the car, because the blond has lost ability to walk and had to be dragged down by his shirt.

Nice. A problem with someone you couldn't shoot because you didn't see him because he was too far. All they could do was to drive away. He opened the door while kneeling in the dirt and pushed his witness inside, not bothering with his protests. They had times for it later. When he was not pursued so openly.

As soon as they fell, a bottle of cheap sake went splayed, its contents partially covering both men as they dragged themselves (or… Gaara dragged both of them) towards his car, blond not seeming to have much an idea of what was going on but not seeming very appreciative of it nonetheless.

'I don't wanna go with you!' he wailed as the redhead pushed him inside. Tiny pieces of asphalt flew up next to where the redhead was crouched at, a little speck of gold showing where the bullet was firmly embedded in the dirt under it. 'Whenever you are around I keep getting shot at! You just have bad karma, deal with it and leave alone!'

A spiderweb of cracks appeared in the left window of the black car, the bulletproof glass holding steady against the small ammunition. Blond, however, folded on himself and covered his head.

'I didn't say you have a choice!' roared Gaara and closed the door and pushed the accelerator just in the nick of time. Bulletproof or not, his windows were not immortal and he really hadn't them changed since... Ah well. It seemed they had to go now. He couldn't get any attention now and with a car like that he was. He drove at top speed for the first two kilometers, then, seeing that they were not tracked, he slowed down. There weren't many cars today and the police really could get annoying at such times. He flicked his dark, frosted glasses and put on his nose, cursing inwardly at the look of the caroserie in the mirror. His car wasn't that old for fuck's sake!

'You alive there, bitch?' he asked, not really interested 'Don't try anything while we drive, and I'm in a foul mood and might get an idea that running over you might be quite fun.'

Blond sniffed, then looked up with an offended pout.

'What, you mean you are capable of other mood themes besides menopausal?"

Gaara snorted, too tired to be annoyed anymore. Geez, he was searching for that brat for two days. Usually it took more, but heck, he talked to him less than fifteen minutes and was offended more than any previous victim could do in their life. Even if he was still a noob at shooting them.

'That's Uchiha's capability.' he said, snickering 'I'm a Sabaku.'

Blond flinched.

'...Sabaku?' he asked after a while, leaning against the seat and looking out of the window. He had stopped looking angry or fearful or even cocky. Now he just looked like someone who had lost what little fight was left on them.

'Exactly, Sabaku. The most dangerous family in town.' he turned his car left and stopped the engine. They were here - Momochi's machine shop for gangsters and robbers. He could be trusted as a retired criminal and had his profit of being secretive. Gaara stopped the car and whistled at the entrance, as every Sabaku did. Every family had their own code of greetings. He got whistled back.

Great. Owner was in.

He got out of the car.

'And I'm Sabaku Gaara, the meanest motherfucker on the Yoghurt Street. Also known as Sand Demon Who Drinks Blood, got that princess?' And he opened the door for Naruto while bowing down slightly, like if he was treating a lady from the rich palace. 'Oh, don't be a shy bitch, there is no one more dangerous here than me.'

'You fucked your mother on Yoghurt street and drank blood with AIDS, sure, I think I can remember that.' Blond exited the car without seeming to need being told so, not ignoring Gaara as much as not seeing him, leaned against it and started looking through the pockets on his black and orange jacket for something. 'Say, are you always this charming or is it a side effect of running out of 'Prozac'?'

'You haven't seen me angry yet so don't worsen your situation. I don't need you to have limbs or healthy skin fracture for you to be my witness.' The car 'wooted', announcing it was closed. The redhead grabbed the blond by neck and dragged him along, not minding the little squeeze around his neck here and there. 'And if you continue with that pretty mouth of yours, I assure you that by the end I'm done with you, you'd wish you only had AIDS.'

The door clicked and a very tall man has emerged from the shadows. Bandages were hanging loose from his face and his disinterested look slid over them like if they were yet another rock on his backyard.

'Sabaku.' he muttered in low voice 'Want me to hide that bunny or is something wrong with your jaguar?'

'What bunny?' A pretty face of a childish woman came out into the vision. Almost a woman. Those who didn't know him, always thought that. 'Oh, we can hide that bunny. It will be easy, we currently are only having one kidnapped girl from Hoshigaki's family.'

'Nah, we'll be fine.' said Gaara and pointed at his car 'It's only a window and some shots in the door. We don't want to take too long.' Then he bended Naruto's back with force while squeezing painfully hard on his neck. 'Bow down, bunny-bitch. The kids are looking at you.'

'Bitch` winced at the hand roughly squeezing his neck.

'What? I repeated exactly what you told me. Maybe if you weren't that specific on what you want me to remember about your personal traits-' He stopped talking as the impressive figure that came out of the workshop, not exactly appreciative of the fact that he probably was only chest level with the newcomer, then sighing rather resignedly. `Bunny` raised a hand. 'Hello shampoo advertisement lady and um… army… mummy… person thing.'

Gaara thwacked him on the head, letting him go for a moment, then grabbing him again.

'Behave.' he hissed through his gritted teeth, while still smiling. 'I'm sorry, this bitch is quite wild and doesn't exactly get that I'm a serial killer.'

'And what's new.' said the 'mummy person thing' and grabbed blond's hand 'No broken fingers, not even one. You're too soft on them so they have runny mouths.'

Then he let go of him and went forward, obviously going to check on the car.

'I didn't have time to spank his ass yet.' muttered Gaara and forced Naruto to bend back even harder 'If you don't stop I'll make you walk like that all the time so your pose would at least say you're sorry for what you're doing.'

'Oh, no need to be so harsh on him, Mr. Sabaku.' said the 'shampoo lady' smiling sweetly 'And really, this position won't allow him to drink tea I'm going to prepare for you so you may want to let go of him.'

'He will lick it from the floor if he won't be able do otherwise.'

And with those word, Gaara pushed the blond forward, still not letting him to regain his composure and went inside beside them.

'Feel free to enjoy your stay.' The room they were let into wasn't very clean, many tools were tossed carelessly everywhere and the oil was flooding the nice pink carpet like if it was possible to wash it out later. A room of two bachelors. Gaara sat down on the dusty sofa with a careless 'thud', which rose the dust and made air even more grey. He didn't let Naruto sit on it, hitting him hard on the back so he'd kneel on the floor like a low life. Not that he wasn't a low life. To him he all could stay like that for the rest of his journey, tied to the roof of his car. Though it was nice to check on how his ass pinned in that position too.

He didn't react when he got tea. Drank a little of his own cup, but let the other's warmth waver away.

'So, bitch...' he said in a drowsy, thoughtful tone 'Care to tell me what's happened in a funny park before I decided to make an entrance? Be serious so I might even give you your tea.'

'I'm not sorry about what I say, I'm sorry you appeared into my life!' `Bitch` said in a petulant, whiney tone, but still made no comment about having to bend over like that. Hell, Gaara probably wanted to make him his size so they could talk at eye level. Fucking midget. He smiled at the 'shampoo advertisement lady' as a thanks for the offer-really, couldn't he get the nice, serial killers?- and when the redhead finally let go of him, he rubbed the back of his neck and sat down Indian style on the floor. He wasn't that attached to his jeans anyway. 'I told you I didn't even know what's happened. Shouldn't you know? Hell, the creeps that showed up before you probably were on your side.'

'If I knew, I wouldn't ask, chipmunk.' Gaara thwacked him on the head again and drank up some more of his tea. 'Now spill.' he said between sips.

'Want some cookies with that?' could be heard from the hallway.

'Sure, bring them on.' One moment later on the dusty table lied a half-eaten cheesecake which seemed to be rather dry and a little burned from the one side. 'This time I added sugar, not salt!' the 'shampoo lady' chirped in a sweet tone, while looking at the redhead expectedly 'Tell me how it tastes!'

Gaara took a bite carelessly.

'Not bad.' he said with a bored face, not really seeming to be overjoyed, but not to be distasted as well 'You overdid soda though.'

'What? Again? But I remember I put just the right amount...' The small talk stopped as one of the owner's stood there with a thoughtful and a little saddened face and only eating of the cheesecake could be heard in the room 'Could it be possible that Zabuza-chan... oh, I'm sorry, do you want some too?'

'Don't give him anything until he does what I ask him for.'

Haku immediately stopped cutting the cake and left the piece on the table.

'That's really bad, I would love to know opinion of others when it comes to this...'

'Can't be helped.' Another bite. The 'shampoo lady' looked at the blond with disappointment.

'Could you work with him a little? He really can kill you if you don't, you know. And I'm dying to know what people think of my cakes. The tutor said I'm the best cooking male in my own year so you see... okay?'

'Dunno if you are the best, but you sure are the prettiest!' `Chipmunk` chirped, smiling at the possibly younger/older male. He didn't seem to be surprised or even phased at the fact the `lady` was actually a `sir`. 'But seriously, I don't know.' He gestured with a hand, the light catching what seemed to be the mother of all preteen girls art crafts on his wrist. It was made of safety pins with tiny blue beads, more than likely held together by elastic.

'I`m like, there right? And this guy comes over and he's all like 'hey, wanna come up?' and I'm all `suuure, why not`, think this guy's probably loaded and that I could probably steal his stuff or something, then we go to that apartment and behold, bam goes everything. Crazy people dressed like 'Matrix' escapees come in, and all of the sudden everyone is shooting everyone! And then they were shooting me!' he did that thing again with his eyes, making round, big and practically something aborted by a Disney movie. 'The fucking TV right about `sploded next me, and I got all this black stuff in my eye, and now Sakura-chan says I need to wear this eye patch until it gets better and I have to get eye drops and stuff and it fucking stings!'

Gaara stopped in the middle of the bite and looked at the blond with furrowed eyebrows... well, he would, if he had them. But skin above his eyes bended just as good.

'What guy? There?' The redhead dropped the rest of the cake on a plate. 'You're a thief? Who are you working with?'

Blond turned to look at redhead, cocking his head slightly to the side.

'Who guy what?' He shrugged. 'I don't work for anyone. And I'm not a thief! I just… take from the rich and give to the poor. And I'm a very poor person, so I decided to start with myself. And I only do it when I need to pay rent!'

Gaara thwacked him on the head again.

'I asked about the guy you were speaking about at the beginning, bitch.' he said, feeling that if anything, he'll soon have to switch from his hand to the base of his gun, since his fingers started hurting him 'Answer in order, you Robber Hood.'

'How am I supposed to know that if you can't make coherent sentences?' he ducked his head before Gaara could hit him again. 'I don't know, who cares? I was buying bubblegum and the guy was right in front of me, and he must have thought I was cute or something because he asked me over, and he just seemed loaded, so I said yes. What else do you want me to tell you?'

'Guys like that don't show up at national conferences, you dumb bitch. Stop making up lies, I said or I'll stop being gentle with you.' The gun slammed on the surface of the table, making the pretty boy jump a little, but it was obviously more from the bang than from the fact it was a gun. He didn't stop reading the love novel he got onto even for a moment.

'Stop being difficult, honey, I don't really like cleaning after such mess.'

'I wasn't in a national conference, I was on the fucking street! I don't know why he was on the street, and fuck, do I wish he hadn't been- Who the fuck was that guy anyway, your boyfriend or what? I'm sorry if he was cheating on you, but it's not my problem if you can't keep them entertained, and we didn't do anything anyway.'

Gaara looked at him and opened his mouth. Pretty face glared at him immediately. Gaara stopped on what he wanted to say and covered his eyes with one of his palms. Dark blue stone of his golden ring glinted in the dim lights like a little lamp.

'Haku.' he muttered 'Am I being too harsh or him? Am I? Tell me, did I break his bones? Did I burn his face? Did I cut off his fingers, shoot off his ears, stepped on his balls or any other things I usually do when bitches get too difficult?'

'No, honey. You didn't.' answered Haku with a honest sigh. 'You were sweet as sugar as far as I know you.'

'Tell me why. Tell me why I didn't fucking murder him yet. It's the age, right? I'm getting too soft.'

'Oh no. It's probably because he really is a cutie. Am I right?' Gaara sighed, slowly letting go of his face and looking at the ceiling with tired eyes.

'Sadly, no.' he said and grabbed the blond by neck, slamming him hard onto the floor. Four times. 'But I'm going to repair that now! Which side do you like more, left or right?' he seethed, while he pointed with his gun toward his victim's balls. 'It wouldn't matter, they will be damaged equally if I shoot you with this.'

The gun clicked. The door opened and the other male stepped in.

'Aww, damn, please, Mr. Sabaku, not in the house!' he hollered in the annoyed tone 'Haku really is whiny when it comes to bleaching the blood from the carpet!'

'Because it's a bitch to do that.'

'Make once exception of the rule!' roared Gaara, practically sticking his gun up the blonde's ass 'I can't take it anymore! That bitch is begging for it since I caught him!'

'Not in the house!' Gaara didn't move. 'I will get you fifty percent off the actual prize!'

Gaara let go of the blond.

'Out.' he murmured grimly, pointing at the door. 'Now.'

'But why are you mad, I didn't do anything?' blond cried, curling on a little ball and doing absolutely no effort to get up. 'Why did you have to follow me, I don't know anything, I didn't do anything, can't you just leave me alone and go sexually harass someone else?'

'One exception.' Gaara begged. Both, Haku and Zabuza shook their heads. Gaara sighed. 'Stop wailing, I have no intention of feeling up your dirty ass.' He caught the blond by neck and practically dragged him down the floor outside. He didn't stop talking in the middle of the process though.

'And I told you why. Because you're a witness. I want to know what's happened and you try to sell me bullshit. I'm a busy young man, I had long day, my back aches and I have a job to do which I couldn't do because I have no fucking idea what happened there. Either you tell me everything or I'm going to castrate you. Simple.'

He dropped the blond on the dusty floor, reloaded his gun and pointed it at him.

'Now spill what you saw.' The pair came out after him but stopped in the frame of the door.

'Aim at the hands first, if he is gonna escape this, he will not be able to do his little robinhooding anymore.' shouted the older male with a bored tone. Gaara had no doubt that he did it many times before, so he changed the angle.

'Hey, don't give him ideas, he's special enough as it is!'

'I'm waiting.'

'You had a long day? I stepped into the middle of the worst alignment of planets and met you—Wait, wait, !' It really was amazing, how much this kid could scream. Gaara clicked the safety trigger.. Blond covered his eyes with his hands and screamed some more. Actually, he screamed a lot.

'BUTIDIDN`TDOIT, I TOLD YOU WHAT HAPPENNED, CAN`T YOU JUST CHECK SECURITY CAMERAS OR SOMETHING? LOOK AT THEM, LOOK AT THEM, YOU`LL SEE I DON`T LIEEE!'

Gaara looked at the writhing blond for a moment and sighed. He haven't thought about that. He took out his cell phone, while still aiming at the boy and dialed the number to his house. The beep rang in silence.

'You'd better be telling the truth or 'l'll change my mind and will make you ballsless first.' The phone clicked with silence. As usual. 'It's me. Can I ask for uncle Yashamaru?'

'On the phone. What is it?'

'I found the witness. He tries to sell me some bullshit about what's happened and mentions security cameras. Were they there?'

'You found a witness?'

Silence.

Gaara furrowed his eyebrows.

'Is something wrong?'

'No, it's great, great. I just didn't think it would take you so little time.'

'I'm surprised myself. So, about the cameras...'

'Yes, of course. We had them checked already. We can't really make what's on them, though. There's blond kid...'

'Standing in the middle of hallway doing nothing?'

'No, he actually cowers because a camera exploded in his face. Besides that, videos are pretty useless, looping only this one scene. Sounds familiar?'

'Heard enough. Thanks.'

Gaara clicked off the phone. Blond peeked between his fingers, expression hopeful.

'You know...' he muttered, lowering his gun 'I really, really hate you for being right. I'd love to rip your skin for what are you doing. Maybe I just shoot you for fun.' he said and aimed at Naruto again. Blonde immediately let another scream and curled into an even smaller ball. 'But then you won't be able to eat Haku's cheesecake.' He lowered it. 'Damn, I'm getting soft. Get up, bitch, it's five o'clock for you.'

'So… you saw it wasn't me? You got the tapes? You can use those as proof!' Blond turned again a big, hopeful and blue eye towards the redhead's. 'You don't need me anymore then, right? Can I leave, please?'

'I said: get up!' Gaara grabbed the collar of the blond and made him stand up, but he didn't let go. 'You will go when I say you can go and not earlier! Did I say you can go? Did I?' He shook the blond, barely containing his anger. Really, it was not his day. Probably a bad week horoscope or something like that. 'I only said you can get up and eat some cake, dammit! And those tapes are pretty useless, so you're going with me whether you like it or not. Now come on!'

He pushed the blonde in front of him and aimed at his head.

'I'll count to five. If by five you're not inside eating this goddamn cheesecake, I'll send you to Pearly Gates. One...'

Click. The blond ran into the building faster than a scared rabbit.

Gaara sighed and unloaded the gun. Maybe now he could get some rest. Brushing off red strands of hair from his eyes, he followed inside.

'Do you like it?' could be heard even when the owner of the voice couldn't be seen. Gaara smirked. Yeah, like it. If it wasn't for years of training, he'd probably cough to death on it. Haku's cooking was awful. But the blond didn't know that.

'Serves him right.' he thought a reentered the room.

Blond sat as far from Gaara as he could, throwing dirty looks at him every now and then while Haku served him a piece of cheesecake and tea. He eyed the cake, took a bite and slowly chewed.

'This is terrible.' He said thoughtfully, then had another bite.'How much sour cream did you use? I think you overdid it.'

'Terrible? But...' Pretty boy looked at his own cake and tasted it a bit. Zabuza scrunched up his nose at the vision of it, but it was barely visible, because he was all covered in bandages. Haku seemed to be immune to his own cooking. 'But I did everything as it was written in the book, Zabuza-chan, he says it's terrible, and I really did...'

'No, Haku, you did perfectly well.' said the bigger man and stopped scribbling on the paper, then came closer the blond and took the plate out of his hands in rather rude gesture 'He is just a dirty little worm who doesn't know what's good for him and has bad sense of humor. Because he really, really LIKED THAT CAKE DIDN'T YOU.' Gaara snorted and took another bite in his mouth, chewing indifferently and not looking even at the blond.

'I do.' he added.

'R-really? You were joking?' And the pretty boy obviously was on the verge of breakdown which didn't seem to make Zabuza happy. Not one bit. Blond shrunk back, eye wide again.

'It`s not that bad, but it isn't good either. I mean, my mom does much worse, but that doesn't make it good.' Not liking very much the looks he was getting from big bad and bandaged, blond got up and hid behind the couch. 'You should try doing a fruity one. Even if they come out wrong, you just add more fruit and it will taste better. And it tastes so much better if you use marmalade instead of jelly. If you want I can teach you? My dad makes great cheesecakes and I'm good at it too… I mean, I can teach you and doing it only takes a few minutes or so, and I mean, like, you have to let it in the oven for some time, but the actual doing of the cakes takes very little, and really, you are so nice I think something with fruit would taste better, and chocolate cheesecake is tricky anyway-'

'He doesn't like it.' One tear rolled down the pretty cheek of the pretty boy. Then the second. 'He says my chocolate cheesecake sucks!'

Zabuza squinted his eyes dangerously. Gaara immediately got up from the couch, still chewing on the last bite and clapping his hands to get rid of the crusty bits. 'I think we should get going.' he said in demanding tone and dived behind the touch to grab the blond by ear and bend him toward his mouth.

'Say you're sorry or I'm going to feed you the ammo all the way to the car.'

'What were you saying?' Zabuza's face was getting redder - he seemed to be the type whose blood got hotter when he got more angry.

'I was only telling him that he obviously hadn't tried Haku's fruitcake so he doesn't know what he is saying.' He shook the blond violently, bending him toward the couch in apologizing gesture. 'Right, bitch?'

'Bitch' actually did look apologetic. Oddly enough, it seemed to be more stemmed from the long-haired brunet than the threatening aura of the taller male. He almost more panicky than when the redhead had threatened to shoot him a few minutes ago.

'I'm so sorry, pretty person, please don't cry! It's really is great cheesecake for a student, dattebayo!'

Pretty person stopped crying immediately.

'Great! I'm going to bring my chocolate cake then! I wanted to practice some more, but if you really think so then I can make an exception!' Then he skipped happily to another room. Zabuza paled.

'I-I'm going to water the plants.' he muttered and exited himself without goodbyes. Of course, if anyone got a good look at the shop, it was visible that they had only two very lonely cacti and a little pool of grass which didn't need anyone's help.

Gaara's smile changed into very sardonic.

'You're done for.' he whispered and let go of his neck 'I had years of practice and never got used to this impossible thing. But try puking in my car and I'll shoot your head off.'

Then he sat down and started gulping down the cup of the tea like if it contained tranquilization to all bad tastes on the world.

'It's not really that bad, I'm sure he just misread the recipe or something…' blond muttered, looking at the other as if he were insane, and then sniffing dejectedly. Seriously. They should try the outcomes of his mother trying to make fried rice. Just the thought of the undercooked, yellow goop and the noise it made when deposited in the plate was enough to give him nightmares. 'If I were mummy guy I'd worry more about the professor trying to get on prettyface`s pants because he is so obviously not teaching him the right kind of things.'

'That's not your thing to worry about.' The door opened with a slam.

'I'm baaack! Oh? Where's Zabu-chan?'

'Saving the garden. He said he will be right back.' Haku looked at Gaara with doubtful manner, but then he just smiled and shrugged. 'He is so lovely, isn't he?' he said, giggling like a teenage girl.

'Yeah.' added Gaara and quickly downed the rest of the tea 'But man, I'm stuffed, I really had a big dinner and your cheesecake was so good... I can't eat anymore, no.'

'Even a bit?'

'No, really. Pack me some, I'll eat later. But I didn't let the bitch eat his dinner so he is probably starving. Pass him some, he will be happy.'

'Of course!' The cake was cut. And it looked average. Like a normal chocolate cake - yellow, with green frosting and bits of oregano sticking out of it. The usual from bakery shop. 'It might not be the best since the weed didn't mix well, but I'm sure it will be tasty. Zabu-chan was so delighted he fainted from happiness after he ate it!'

Gaara chuckled.

'Oh, really. Tell me then, chipmunk, how it tastes so I can have something to look forward.'

With that he gestured the 'cutting off neck' while Haku, smiling happy, was turning his back on him and couldn't see what he was doing.

'Here you are, Mr... what's your name? I'm sorry, I haven't heard.'

´Chipmunk´ eyed the cake with the sort of fascination six year old reserved for particularly gruesome insects and wounds.

'Weed? It's cake on drugs? It's cake with drugs? You eat cake with drugs?' Blond didn't seem to be able to believe that someone as sweet and pretty baked marihuana on this abortion of nature that he attempted to pass as cake. Well, it certainly would explain why the hell it seemed like Prettyface had lost all sense of taste… But still!

'You shouldn't do drugs, what if they do something to you?' reaching forward, he removed the cake from his hands and took them on his own, eyeing the other very seriously. 'You are the prettiest person I have ever seen in my life, you can't let drugs ruin that for you!'

Drugs were bad for your hair and your skin, and this boy had seriously the loveliest pair he had ever seen in his life. Not even pale, red and psycho had skin this pale and delicate looking… Not that there was much of it to be appreciated between the ungodly loads of eyeliner he wore, what little skin he showed and the bruises he still had on the places he could see. He himself still ached like bitch, but most of the bruising was gone- the blessing of having good skin with just the perfect shade of tan.

'Oh, but we don't do that constantly, it's only to get cake taste better. You know, sugar is not good for you too.' said Haku and waved him off, taking the cake back and cutting the piece into smaller part 'And weed is not drugs, honey. They're soft drugs. Soft drugs are not hard drugs therefore they are not serious drugs so they aren't drugs at all!'

Gaara eyed the ceiling like if he was praying for the childishness of the sentence. Haku giggled like a teenage girl again, which didn't help it look even a bit better.

'But if you're so afraid of it, I'll get you smaller piece. But don't remove the frosting, it will kill the taste.'

'Oh no, especially not the frosting, bitch.' said Gaara, barely containing the laughter. But when Haku looked at him, his face was perfectly smooth and serious. Once Haku looked at Naruto again, he was on the verge of choking.

'Ok, they are not hard drugs but they are drugs anyway and you shouldn't do them! What are you, like? Seventeen or what?' He kind of got the feeling he was older than him, but he wouldn't be able to determine how much, and if he went by looks alone… 'And of course they're drugs, they wouldn't fall under the drugs category if they weren't drugs!' he whined, sniffing a bit for good effect. He gave Haku a very pleading look. 'Pretty-pretty, can't I try something else? I've never done drugs before and I'm scared Gaara will rape me if I go with him under the effect.'

Gaara actually choked.

'How dare you!' he seethed through his teeth, his face getting redder 'You're disgusting, bitch! I'd rather die than touch another guy in such manner! Can't you see I'm wearing a cross?'

'Oh please, calm down, Mr. Sabaku, we all know you're a worthy follower. And I'm twenty, honey. It seems you're too afraid, so it can't be helped... but I'll pack some, just in case if you feel some hunger. You should get going anyway.'

Pretty boy stood up from the chair and took his cake, saddened.

'We should?' said Gaara, but then he got a glimpse of Haku's face and stood up like if he was burned 'Damn. Come on bitch, we're in hurry. I'll send you money later.'

'Of course.' Gaara grabbed the blond by elbow and pushed him outside, where Zabuza was flooding the cactus in a big pool of mud 'Will call.'

'Yeah.' said Zabuza, then looked at the road 'Later.'

Then he got into the house and closed the door from the inside. In-between curtains were being set as from affair could be heard a loud sound of a vehicle. Or rather - many vehicles. Fast. And known too well to Gaara.

'Get in.' he commanded, pushing the blond inside his repaired car and hoped in himself. It took him a second to start the engine and push the car on the road with a suicidal turn. 'Shit! How did they find us so quickly?'


	4. Three

'Shit! How did they found us so quickly?'

Blond got in and strapped the security belt on himself, before shrinking as much as he could so he wouldn't be visible from the windows.

'Dunno, but I bet it's your fault. I had awesome luck until I met you.'

'You can only blame yourself for wanting to go at the same places I go!'

The car took a mad turn on the left and quickened as the redhead pushed the accelerator with more force.

'Sweet Lord... I can't allow this car to be scratched again! Grab the wheel, will you?' the redhead commanded and caught the blond by arms pushing him toward wheel as he unloaded the gun he held between them 'To be chased twice in one day... who the hell got killed there that I'm being chased like a fresh meat? Or maybe it's you, huh? What have you stolen, bitch?'

He didn't wait for the answer as he opened the window and aimed at the car behind them. The other car opened its windows too.

'You're dead!' screamed some bald, but relatively beautiful man shooting a load of bullets at Gaara. The redhead got inside for a moment to get out again.

'You wish!' he roared against the wild blowing of the wind and blasted a shot toward their car. Unfortunately, because of the turn on the road, he only scratched the door and hit the bald guy on the arm.

'Fuck you!' screamed the other behind the wheel. Gaara tsked. Yeah, of course. He aimed again.

'You're not my type!' he hollered and shot again. This time the wheels got burned and the car took an unexpected turn, blocking the road and becoming a wall behind Gaara's car and theirs. The redhead sighed and got inside the car. It took him only two shots. New record. 'You were saying something about luck?'

'Good aim is not the same as having luck!' Naruto told Gaara when he got back in the car, moving away so he could take back control of the car and resuming his seat. Thank God he'd taken driving lessons from Kakashi sensei. When you had a person that read porn while driving, you quickly learnt to dive for the wheel out of pure survival instinct. And thus, by age twelve, he was perfectly fit for driving, even if he only ever seemed to be able to do it hard, fast and violently. Ah well, life provided to those in need?

'I didn't steal anything! Some of us are actually smart enough not to want to get involved where too many guns and men wearing black leather gloves are involved—I was just about to run out before you showed up to ruin my life!'He started feeling around his light jacket again, grumbling all the while until he finally found what he was looking for- a half empty package of grape bubblegum. Quickly fishing one, he put it in his mouth and started chewing enthusiastically. 'What, you don't know? Wasn't he one of your friends? Fuck if I know, you scream at me he is important as shit and then don't know who he is?'

'I know who am I supposed to kill, Jesus, don't get smart like if you knew a thing about how it works! Shit!-' The redhead pushed the brakes as the light suddenly turned red and they both almost landed with their heads on the front window 'It's only that I wasn't supposed to kill all of them you understand? I got tricked into a trap, and unfortunately, you're the only one who can say I'm not lying! Believe me, if there was other way, I would do it, because being with you strains my nerves more than it's humanly possible! Who the hell are you, a top working annoyer or what?'

Blond grinned and blew a bubblegum balloon with aloud pop.

'Well, that really depends on who you ask.' Rubbing his forehead, with a small whine, though he was still smiling faintly. 'And seriously, do you really need me? I mean, are they gonna believe the word of some crazy person you just picked off the street and brought and guns point?'

Gaara sighed, looking at the red light. The sky was getting greyer and greyer and it slowly started drizzling with water above their heads. The line of cars before them didn't move.

'I have no other choice.' he muttered, then laid his head on a wheel for a minute. 'And they probably won't so I will have to make them believe you, but that's not your thing to worry about.' He looked at the blond and watched as the other blew balloons of the gum. 'Give me that.' he said, pointing at the bubble gum.

Blond looked at the other in a momentary and rather atypical spell of silence and got another bubblegum from the package, giving it to the redhead. Gaara took it without a word of thanks and started chewing on it.

'We're gonna stop at the hotel.' he muttered between biting 'I was going to get you to my house straight away, but I'm too tired for this.' he said and got silent. Apparently, maybe he was not too tired to drive, but he wasn't exactly sure how to explain the big bill for his car repairing that no one expected from him in such poor times. And of course, the fact that the witness is a rat-rug and that he will be shot before he'd get a chance to talk about anything - his mouth ruined it for him. Not that he'd mind, but he had to mind and that's why it was no good. 'Any objections?' he asked with a very clear sarcasm in his voice. He'd strangle him like a ham. Oh yeah.

Blond made a thoughtful noise.

'Well, just the fact that you are obviously being chased and wherever we stop we'll probably end up shot to death? No offence, your car is awesome and kickass but not exactly nondescript. And they probably have the license plate, and oh, and, well... the fact you are one of the most sought after person on the news?'

'I don't have an umbrella and if you can't see, there's this pretty storm starting up. We can drive in circles, but that will get us noticed soon. Unless you want to take a turn into forest and sleep in the middle of it the way you are.' He blew a balloon. The air in the car was getting grapefruity. 'Oh, I have an idea. We'll do just that and you won't complain about possibility of tree knocking over us or I will shoot you. How about that?'

The car took a turn on the sideway's street and got deeper into the countryish surroundings, slowly being slapped with branches and leaves. A few meters further and Gaara turned straight into the forest, maneuvering between the trees as long as he felt like doing it and he stopped. There. He blew a balloon and looked at the blond.

'You're screwed.' And before the blond could say anything, he got a hold of his neck and started strangling his arms with a thick rope he always had with himself. Just in case he'd happen to have a bothersome witness who talked too much. Like now. Blond's eyes widened and he immediately started flailing.

'HELP, RAPE!'

'Oh fuck you!' Gaara immediately let go of the blond, curling like if he had burned him. 'I'm not a rapist, what the hell! Oh- why am I even listening to what are you saying!' He got a hold of the blond again and continued on strangling him until he tied his legs and arms with his torso and tied him to the seat. He added extra pressure, just because he felt like choking him and sat in his seat, sweaty and red from the exercising. Naruto stopped fighting as hard as he had at the beginning, though he didn't make it any easier for the redhead, and by the time the other was done, both of them were in a rather disheveled state.

'You really are a bitch. I bet that's how your name sounds.' Blond stuck a tongue covered in a thin layer of bubblegum in his direction and then continued chewing, eyes narrowed like an offended cat, not commenting on the other's words.

'Tch. Whatever.' The redhead scrunched his nose and crossed his arms, letting his eyelids fall down along with his head. He had to be aware of his own surroundings, as falling forward would make the car beep in the middle of silent forest. He listened to the rain falling and started counting the droplets. 'One, five, eleven, seventeen...' he muttered with his eyes closed. He lost the count at three hundred twenty four. Usually he got to thousand and seventy. But who could blame him? Blond was tiring as hell.

The taller (and heavily restrained) blond work up at the feint weird noise that had nothing to do with the raging storm outside. The car was all fogged up as apparently the rain had gone from bad to worse while they slept—who know how long they'd been out of it, but he jumped a little as lightning cut the air, eyes squinting. What the hell was that noise…? A little looking around and he finally realized it was the small object sitting on the panel behind the wheel. Ha. Vibrating. Why wasn't he surprised?

'Hey. Hey, short red and evil. Your cellophane's ringing.'

The redhead moved, getting his head a little on the left so he would be away from the noise, but as it repeated itself, he stirred. Ahh, the glass was so foggy and the rain still poked its surface like if there was no tomorrow. Wait, what?...

'Ah, god damn!...' He closed his eyes, laying his fingers over it and got a hold on his phone. He was on a run. With a blond. Duh. Sometimes not remembering anything in a sleep slumber was a blessing and getting up - the worst of all.

'Hello?' he muttered groggily, looking at his watch. It was near the first a.m.

'Gaara? Uncle speaking.' Gaara yawned, then grimaced, feeling how his grapefruit bubblegum lost all its taste and got glued to his teeth.

'Yeah, what is it? he asked, taking it out of his mouth 'We're safe if that's what's concerning you...'

'Are you? Oh, that's good. Because I was worrying that maybe you got hurt. Orochimaru is not very happy about what he thinks you did back there. I think he might've organized a hunt for your head. I saw you in the news.'

'In the news, really... well, I have a witness with myself, we will be back shortly...'

'Oh, maybe don't do that.'

Gaara stopped in the middle of messing with the car's shelves.

'Why not?' he asked, then slowly proceeded in rummaging through it. Nope, he left the radio at home. Or maybe it was the other shelf... 'We're not far away, we will be back in the morning before sundown...'

'Oh no, no. I think Orochimaru is suspecting we are hiding you. You'd better drive away to our summer house and someone will get the witness there...'

'But that's in another town!' Gaara yelled. The following thunder got everything lightened up for a moment 'How do you expect me to get there quickly? I really think-'

'Gaara, look. Where are you? In the hotel room where anyone can shoot you? Believe me, it's not any safer here at home now.'

'Actually, no. We're in the middle of forest trying to avoid being shot. It's really not that far...'

'But we're getting away from home now, Gaara. Do as I said, bring him into our summer house. It will only take you few days.'

'But it's in the middle of desert! I'm not prepared for that!'

'Have I taught you nothing? I believe you can do this. If anyone can make it - it's gotta be you.'

Gaara got silent for a moment. He looked at the window mindlessly, not seeing a thing.

'All right. I will do it.' he muttered into the speaker, even if he knew that it won't be sugar and pies. 'That's my boy! Remember that I love you, Gaara.'

'Yeah, I love you too, uncle.'

'Can you give me the blond for a moment?'

'What? Him?'

'Yes, your witness.' Gaara looked at the blond and then got his phone close to his ear.

'My uncle.' he said. The phone coughed for a moment.

'Hi?'

'Do I know you?'

Blond looked at the redhead quizzically.

'I… sincerely hope not, because, so far, anything related to Gaara has brought me nothing but new bruises and sexual harassment.' A pause. 'And terrible, terrible cheesecake.'

'That's enough.' said Gaara, making a very unhappy face and got back his phone 'Uncle?'

'Sexual harassment? You were raping him with a cheesecake?'

'Not I. Momochis did.'

'Oh. Oooh.' Gaara grimaced even more 'But please, don't do that anymore. This may get bad for you.'

'Bad? Why?'

'Can't tell anything yet. Just... be nice to him. He is supposed to help you.'

'Awwz, but I wanted to shoot off his balls so badly!'

'Cut it with a knife if you have to. Guns really leave too much mess.' Then he clicked off. Gaara slowly lowered his hand and looked at the tree in front of him. And he smiled. 'I have a permission to cut your balls off.' he said, then he looked at the blond. 'And my knives haven't been sharpened for weeks.'

Blond popped a mostly tasteless balloon of what had once been grape bubblegum. 'Have you ever talked with a psychoanalyst on regards of your obsession with genitals and phallic imaginarily?'

'I don't see why I should.' Then the redhead popped out the next balloon with his finger. 'Go to sleep bitch, we're going on a long trip tomorrow. And believe me, you will regret being so difficult.' Then he laid his phone down and slammed the shelf, backing to the position he was woken from. Oh yeah. He won't give him anything. Water especially. Maybe if he'd kneel down and say he's sorry. He'd have to go shopping anyway... He closed his eyes, counting the water drops again.

'…'

'…'

'Gaaraaa~'

Gaara stirred.

'What, bitch.' he said, scrunching his nose, but not opening his eyes.

'It's morning already and I'm bored and hungry, and gotta pee.'

Whine, whine.

'Wake uuup~ Don`t you need to start applying makeup or something?'

Still with closed eyes, Gaara reloaded his gun and aimed at the blond's crotch.

'If you mess up my car, your nuts are done for, no matter what my uncle said about using a knife.'

'Then fucking untie me and let me go pee, jeez.' blond rocked lightly, mostly to relieve the fact he couldn`t feel his ass anymore. 'I`m sure you like S&M a lot, but this whole rope thing really isn`t my thing. Please, peel it off? Pleeease, Gaara? PLEEEASE~?'

The redhead whacked him with his gun across the jaw.

'I don't remember being in friendly terms with you, you nameless chipmunk.' he said, crooking his eyes open 'It's Mr. Sabaku for you, bitch.' Then he sighed, rolled his head backwards and opened one of the windows. It was still raining mad.

'I wonder if I can drive out the car out of this mud...' he said out loud, then unfastened his seatbelts. Yeah, this blond made sense. It was morning already. And his ass was pretty sore too. He got out into the rain and let the water run free on his face. Ah, refreshing. Oh, and about the other things the blond was also right. He got to the nearest tree and decided to pee himself. Now, that felt good.

`Chipmunk` whimpered at the hit and remained staring at the redhead with wide, hurt and near-tears blue eyes. Eye, really. He still had that look by the time the shorter male was back. Gaara twitched.

'Stop looking like the hurt puppy, you're the one who is barking at me all the time.' He tsked, and got inside, starting to undo his ropes 'For a guy like me you're treated like a delicate virgin, you know? I simply should roughen you up so you'd see what are you missing.'

He said that, but he really wasn't in the mood. The idea of what awaited him filled him with dread as he really wasn't ready for what was going to happen - maybe if he was not being under assassin's constant glare, he'd enjoy this. But with a situation like this, it could get gravy. He undid the hand ropes and got out of the car.

'Do the rest for yourself.' he said and circled the car, opening the door from the other side. 'And do hurry, we need to buy a few things and shop assistants are too sleepy to notice who they sell things to only till the ten in the morning.'

'Oh, thank God you like me. Oh, I'm so relieved.' Blond deadpanned, then got out as fast as he could, kicking off the remaining ropes and rubbing his lower back with a wince. Fuck, he could barely feel his legs. Good luck he'd been wearing his jeans, otherwise he'd be covered in bruises. His arms looked like that, and they'd probably have the marks for a good few hours.

It took him a few minutes to finish his busyness, and by then he was thoroughly soaked, not that he seemed to mind. Shaking the water off his messy hair like a dog he got back on the car and put down the passenger's mirror, pulling the eye patch off to look at his eyes.

'Aw, fuuuck.' The sight was not exactly encouraging. All the white was covered in bloody lines of broken veins and there were two small brown spots on the side of it. 'What the hell do they put inside of TV`s anyway…' he mumbled, hands lifting the white shirt. It revealed a toned, evenly tanned stomach with a spiral tattoo surrounding the navel. Directly beneath it and precariously looped through one of the belt loops was a fanny pack. Rummaging through it, Blond came up with a tiny bottle of eye drops and tilted his head back, applying several drops to the irritated area, wincing as he tore up from the sting. Some words escaped him. `fucking blind` seemed to be the current topic of interest.

Gaara looked at all this with disinterest, as he had been busy himself smearing off his own mascara and applying new, heavy and really leaking layer of it on his skin. He stopped at the sight of the blond applying the drops into his eyes. His nipples stood out too visibly through the white wet t-shirt to let him concentrate.

'Could you stop that.' he muttered, rolled his eyes reminding himself that the kid was unattractive in comparison to any woman and too young for him and added another layer of makeup. Yeah, now he was looking like he was fucking evil. Though he'd probably have to apply it again once he'd get to public toilet and wash himself. He added the mascara to the list of things to buy and closed the lid of the one he was currently using. It was getting old anyway. Then he looked at the ceiling, took out his rosemary and started a prayer. A normal half an hour of daily routine.

'No. I happen to light depth perception and I need both my eyes for that.' The blond squeezed some more of the liquid on his eye, then blinked the remaining tears away and put the eye patch back in place and the bottle in the pack. 'I really hope Sakura-chan was right and I don't end up blind.' He whined, not seeming to notice or care what the other was doing. Gaara didn't respond, being far too deep into his prayer to care for what blond was saying.

Blond stared at the shorter male without much interest, one eye training from the beads the other was moving to the softly moving lips, then frowned lightly and wiped his forehead from the water still training down. How did he get in this mess anyway? Some more rummaging through the nest of wonders, candy bar wrappers and old bus tickets that was his fanny pack rewarded the blond with an MP3 player than had definitely seen better days, if the faded orange and scotch-tape held batteries were anything to go by, ad after some prodding he managed to turn it on, something that sounded suspiciously like Gorillaz.

Gaara didn't do anything, ignoring the all noise that came with moving, stirring and scrapping. One would think that the blond was on vacations and not held hostage. He had to have the damned ADHD. Darned, I meant. And deliver me from sins I have not committed and I could... _They do the bump._ Gaara stopped.

_They do the bump. They do the bump. They do the bump._ The blond had his music on so loud he actually could hear the lyrics from his seat. He gulped down his saliva and continued on praying. And deliver me from the devils that exists there - _they do the bump_ - and thank you for all the goods - _they do the bump_ - that I was given - _there you go!_ - so I could - _get the cool_ - ... - _get the cool shoeshine!_ -Enough! - he roared and lunged for the mp3 player, tearing it off the blonde's ears - Turn it off or I will break it on two!

'Nooo!' Blond grabbed at it and clasped it back. 'What's your problem, you are being religious and I'm listening to music, why do you need to get angry at me when I'm not even doing anything!'

'This is not vacations.' The redhead snapped it back from blond's hands again and tossed it carelessly into the shelf where he usually kept radio. 'Now sit quiet and behave, like a good tolerant victim you are and I'm going to end my prayer.' He didn't take up guns just for one reason. He was in the middle of prayer. He closed his eyes, sighing through his nose. Why did he always get difficult people for bitches? Especially those who thought that lack of respect might save them.

'Sit still' he muttered, not opening his eyes and adding two toothbrushes to his list 'to buy'. 'Or I will assrape you.'

'I thought you weren`t into that kind of thing?'

The redhead slammed his hands on the wheel. That was it. The blond was obviously trying his patience and he managed to piss him off.

'Such a smart boy you are.' he muttered, starting a car and moving it suddenly, not letting the blond do his seatbelts 'To your information, bitch: my gun can replace dildo just as good. Wanna play Russian roulette with your ass? I love how they beg when I check if there's an ammo or not!' He chuckled darkly, moving the car out of the forest area mercilessly, gritting his teeth in tight, cold smile. He hadn't got time for such things. But really, if that was what would shut up the arrogant bitch, he'd sacrifice himself and actually would shoe it up his ass. 'And I bet that as a bitch you love dangerous plays.'

'Not really,' smartassy blond replied, holding himself with a hand on the windshield as opposite to banging his head on it. 'I'm really vanilla when it comes to those things, but you?' He batted his eye at the redhead, adjusting the strap on the eye patch he was wearing. 'You have very, very disturbing fetishes, and provably need psychiatric help.'

'I reckon a straightjacket would look wonderful with your hair.'

'It does.' The redhead stopped the car for a moment and looked at the blond with a wide, disturbing smile which looked so false it almost ripped through his cheeks 'And believe me, all my psychiatrists said the same thing before they died. All twenty seven of them.'

With that the car moved sharply, almost running them onto the tree and turned it, riding on a bumpy road with dangerous speed.

'Now shut up bitch, or I'll buy you fish food and make you eat if for the whole journey to the West and you won't enjoy it!'

The car turned with crazy wheeze on the asphalt road and moved forward, probably going through the allowed speed at least twice. For a moment the wheel was let go as Gaara did the seatbelts and took out a wallet. He needed to buy so many things... not that he didn't have credit cards, but all needed to be done now and he really didn't remember all that was supposed to be bought for such a journey. And the nearest shop was a very little, not really supplied market for drivers so probably all stuff will be cheap and not equivalent to their standar-

'Deer!'

'Holly shi-!'

Gaara caught the wheel in the last moment and made the car turn and slide in 270 degrees with a loud whistle and stopped it, bumping his head on the back of the seat. Good that there were no cars following them or it would turn catastrophic.

'Fuck!...' he muttered, massaging his head. His wallet slipped out of his hand and spilt all money on the floor. 'What the hell are you doing! Why didn't you warn me sooner! You stupid bitch, I almost ran over the fucking bambi!'

The blond gaped, trying to crawl back to his seat as the wild maneuvering had him slide all the way to the feet part of his seat and bang the side of his head on the air conditioner panel.

'Oh, I don't know, maybe because YOU are the one driving?' he rubbed the painful spot, blinking back tears 'What are you, fucking George of the jungle? You need people to shout 'watch out for that tree!' for you to see what's right in front of you! Poor Bambi, I think you killed his mother.'

The deer stayed glued to the spot for a few more moments before turning tail and springing away in that ridiculously delicate way deer tend to move.

'Nope, no orphan Bambies this fall.'

'Shut up, before I strangle you!' said the redhead and slapped the blond on the ear 'Sit down and stop being so smart! If it didn't get away I'd just run over it because I hate deers! And don't touch my money!'

The blond backed away, holding the slapped area and looking even more tearful than before.

'How can you hate deer? You don't get any cuter unless we are talking about baby seals or baby penguins!' God, if he were any more religious, he'd think he was being he was being held hostage by Carrie's mother.

The redhead didn't bother to answer as he started the engine again and moved it forward, slower this time. But still, when the car gained its speed, he bended down to actually gather the money and didn't care too much on the road, making it sway on both sides like if the driver was too drunk or too blind to actually know what he was doing. Not that he cared, it was before dawn and raining, so not many cars could be seen on the road. And one who dared to beep at them got turned to the side of the road as Gaara suddenly pushed the car aside pulling on the brakes, making them jump on their seats again.

'What are you doing? What are you, insane? Screwed up psycho!' could be heard as he drove away, cleaning the front window from the water.

'Be glad you decided to turn and not to bump onto me or I would kill you and your whole fucking family with that ugly dog.' the redhead muttered and turned the next passage. They weren't far away. Just one more turn... and next one... ah. There. 'At Luigi's' could be seen quite nicely. Gaara liked that shop. It served Italian food. And he liked Italian food.

Either way, no more warning came from the blond, as he apparently had decided that if they were going to crash, he'd either be too dead to care or finally ridden of the redhead and able to make his escape. He did, however, roll his eyes rather dramatically at the redhead's inner discussion with the driver they'd nearly ran over, though it was hard for the other to notice as the side that faced him was the one with the eye patch.

'We're here.' announced the redhead, bouncing his hands off the wheel lightly as he stopped the car. Then he smiled and turned to the blond, speaking to him like if he would talk to three years old kid. maybe then the blond would actually get that he meant what he meant and he didn't mean by his meaning any other mean to be meant. Oh, and that he actually was a meanie.

'Listen, Goldilocks.' he started with oversacharized tone 'Now I'm going to get out of the car and you're going to do exactly the same and we will both go inside and make nice silent and clean shopping for the murderous journey through the desert that awaits us both. For some obscure and completely illogical reason it might be that you might think that it's the good moment to escape me as in the shop I wouldn't dare to point a gun at you, but you're absolutely wrong. Once you get away from me on the range I can catch you I have nothing to lose and I will just freely shoot to kill, especially you, probably everyone else. I have so many bullets I can take down half of the town and believe me, I'm so good I already gained a nickname. So don't play with me. Understood? Good. Now get the fuck out of my car and no tricks!'

With that he clicked out the keys and hid them in his pocket, then got out of the car, not losing the blond from the corner of his eyes for once. And once he got out, he actually caught the blond by arm tightly and kept him close, like if they were best friends, if not something more.

'This is an invasion to my personal space,' `Goldilocks` muttered, staying as far away from the redhead as his grip on him allowed it, though he seemed appropriately subdued… or at least as much as his blond brain allowed him to be. He gave the security guard one long, very longing glance, but otherwise did nothing to alert him of their situation, and besides, apparently the longing glance couldn't be taken too seriously, considering the blond gave the same kind of longing glance to a waiter carrying a plate willed with pasta and meatballs.

The redhead didn't miss the abnormal way Naruto kept looking at people, but he didn't try to stop him as he knew that usually people never thought of anything else than a little 'disturbing' when it came to that instead of a real danger. The best way to get a hold on of this behavior was to keep them under everything else, occupying it with something else. So he threw the blond a plastic basket.

'Here, catch.' he said carelessly as he moved them forward, ignoring the restaurant part of the shop and moving to the shelves 'And speak up if you have any ideas for our bag pack but keep in mind I'm a poor man and I will do as I like as our lives will rely on all we will buy here.'

It was actually bad to do that as it was nudging at his authority here, but he couldn't help having problems with that and with two brains it could get better than with one. Without hesitance he grabbed a small tent for camping and sleeping bag for one person and tossed it at the plastic basket carelessly. It was a big waste of money, but if he knew, he'd bring his own. But he didn't and it was needed, so he could do nothing about it.

Blond barely caught the basket before it fell down.

'Huh? We are really going to the desert? What for?' the blond whined, looking pretty much heartbroken. 'That thing is endless!' Still, he followed the redhead around, even though the grip was gone.

'Yes, we're going to the desert. Why do you think I'm buying all this stuff, huh? I'm not good at joking.'

'But what for? Are you going to kill me and bury me there?' Cause really… he'd probably have a better chance of that at the forest.

'Would you shut up?'

'But why the desert? Do you have any idea how hot it gets there? There`s nothing on it for miles and miles and miles-'

'...and miles and miles and even more miles.' said the redhead and actually threw a six bottles of water packed into one at the basket, not really caring if the blond caught it 'I fuckin' lived there for the biggest part of my life so I know how it can be, bitch. I'm taking you there to see how you skin will dry up.'

Blond caught them, but didn't seem very happy about the added weight.

'It'll do what every other human's skin does, redhead.' The blond sneered. 'It'll boil, sizzle, and smell like bacon.'

'I bet that will be very interesting to watch.' Then he added the second pack of bottles and a pair of flashlights and a blanket made from black material and a few socks in many strange colors but always containing black. Then he went to the food section. 'Water, water, water, milk, muesli, wine, tinned dog, tinned vegetables, grapes, tinned fishes and some more tins...'

All added made a lot of weight as he carried some of it himself, but probably more to the blond who carried much more of it. Not that he cared.

'Don't drop anything.' he said as he grabbed another pack of muesli and went to buy some toothbrushes. If anything in his life was organized, then it was his breakfast. He had to have bitter apple muesli and a cup of coffee. Nothing else mattered. The blond didn't, but that was only because he had stopped carrying the basket several cans ago, limiting himself to drag it to the floor behind the redhead and internally hope he'd fall and split his pretty head open on the shiny cans that he so happily stacked. Originally, he had hoped the redhead was joking about the trip to the desert. Apparently he hadn't been. What the hell could they be going to do to the desert?

There were things the redhead was forgetting too, but he wasn't going to tell him about it. It`d be a pain for him, too, but if a bit of torture for the other came out of it, dying of dehydration seemed like a small price to pay.

The redhead stopped at the free torches of wood, but decided against it. He had enough that in the trunk of his car after his previous mission. His brother always wanted him to have some in case if he decided to get his artistic feeling out. For once he could finally burn it down like a proper mean younger brother he was. Then he added small hermetic bottles which always held lower temperature than the rest of the place and a pot for water. Then he finally moved to the check-out. Had he bought everything he needed? He had penknife with him already so there was no problem with opening the cans and also he wasn't planning on drinking much varied drinks than his coffee.

'Anything you want?' he asked in a little sarcastic tone, wondering if he couldn't buy some additional clothes anywhere, but the area was void of such shops. They will have to steal them from someone. 'Candies maybe? Gumdrops? Mint bubblegum?'

'An estate in the south of France.' blond replied, smiling oh so sweetly, before looking down at the pack strapped to his waist. He rummaged through it for a few seconds, then shrugged. 'Bubblegum would be nice.'

'...one 'Snickers' then.' said the redhead and got it to the rolling lad with an indifferent face. Then he smiled disturbingly at the blond. 'I think someone forgot I'm actually not 'nice' at all.'

Really, what blond expected of him after all that? Maybe if he played an obedient quiet victim he maybe, just maybe, would have bought him it as the last gift of gratitude in his life or something. Though it would probably only would go well with nice young and pretty girls. Boys, even if they were young and had quite nice features were out of options for him. And besides that, the whole pack of things cost actually quite much, so this 'Snickers' was probably a little too much too. But as stubborn as he was, he just wanted to eat it off into someone's face, no matter if anyone actually cared or not. All this unexpected victim transporting put him into rather foul mood. And he probably forgot about something important. And clothes, they will freeze in the night. But seriously, all that could be done was stealing in the restaurant's toilet and all visitors were wearing light clothes with raincoats. Raincoats were not giving off too much of warmth.

'Oh, shock. I… never saw that coming.' Blond said affectedly, taking his hands to his chest and cupping it as if the area hurt. 'You have truly crushed my hopes and dreams by denying me my one true need: bubblegum. I am now but a broken husk of what I used to be. I hope you are proud of yourself. I hope you can sleep at night with what you've done to me! Sob sob sob.'

Gaara dismissed the rude sentence, his head working on higher amount of ideas. Waiting for this one and only guy who wore sweater to get there was out of option since the time was ticking and getting him there by force also - they would be surely noticed and reported later, and secrecy was too important to mess with it. If it only was so easy to just get through the desert in one night!...

Hopefully, Kankuro's wood will be enough to not let them freeze to death. Him. Naruto could all but go ka-ching into the block of ice if only his brain and ability to speak were to stay intact. He didn't need more to prove his innocence. He counted his money. Yes, quite enough to pass all the passages. hopefully, the road won't be closed or getting it through desert sands would be too much to it. And he couldn't just leave it in the middle of nowhere.

'Are you ready, bitch?' he asked as he packed grapes on top of his paper bag and lifted it off the checkpoint. 'Then to the car.'

As soon as Gaara was busy with the bags, however, Naruto picked the pack of bubblegum, ran it through the laser himself and left the exact amount before stuffing it on his pack. Yeah, that'd teach him to break one's needs. Besides, bubblegum was a must in the desert. He gave a superficial look at the bags, looking for the one thing the redhead seemed to be missing, and he barely could keep himself from bursting into a large grin. No, he couldn't give away his secret yet. Not when Gaara could still turn around and buy it himself. No… he had to wait and pretend he hadn't notice and just enjoy the results when they occurred.

The redhead didn't notice the motion as he was too busy with carrying his packs to the car. Once they were in he grabbed the blond by the collar and pushed him rudely to the other side of the door until he was stuck in his seat like a marshmallow between two crackers. It was completely not needed gesture, but his foul mood made him feel like kicking something, and since violence would make it more problematic and made them stay longer in one place, he decided to do only a bit of roughening up. Besides, such behavior usually didn't bring that much of attention like other violent moves.

'Not a word.' he said through his teeth as he clasped the door shut and moved from the parking place, a little too quickly to make it safe. Thankfully, he was skilled enough to not bump other cars even if he wanted to when he really couldn't. After a moment of playing with the wheel he pushed the pedal of gas, leading them straight to the path leading to the already known to him desert of Big Sands. The name was as unoriginal as the one who discovered it but that didn't make it any less dangerous. On the sole thought of days with saving up resources he felt annoyed.

With one movement he grabbed the 'Snickers' from the packages on the back seats and blindly opened the paper of it, for a moment letting go of a wheel completely; they didn't drive right into the next bush only because he supported it with one of his knees. After a few seconds of car driving sideways, he had finally managed to bite through the greasy sweetness and got back to holding the wheel the proper way. Nuts and caramel stuck to his teeth in the way that any normal person would say was enjoyable, but it only annoyed him more. The overloaded sweetness did nothing good to his already antsy temper. 'Endorphins' his ass. There was nothing good about such things anyway. Without even glancing at the blond he took another bite, chewing it angrily and grimacing even more. Jesus. What a day.

'Fuc-' he muttered as he turned the wheel, making the car turn around and sped it to take the first lead with another car that seemed to be unaware of the fact it was blocking anyone's path. After a moment he pushed on the honker, then opened the window to scream at the driver. As it seemed, the young brat held neither respect nor knowledge about what black cars with red stripes meant. Too bad. Gaara hated when such snots ignored his presence. And that one seemed to be one of those of rich families who was only liked by the brats of his caliber and who ran on the money of his own father.

Father. Another thing that made him feel frustrated to no ends. The last thing he needed to remember now. Without a word he pushed on the gas pedal more, finally getting on with the car that had probably much better engine than his own and pushed at the blond to get out of his way. With one movement he worn a pair of black glasses and reloaded his gun.

'Out of the way, bitch.'h hissed, pushing the blond toward the seat once again and clicked the window open. Then he pointed out the gun at the other man. The teenager froze, looking at the gun in fear, not for once thinking about getting away from the range of it 'Ignorance pays off only in one way. You chose the wrong person to mess up with!' he hollered. First good deed done for his own sake today.

The blond meeped and did as he was told, shooting the redhead another wounded puppy look and adjusting his eye patch when one particularly rough push threw it out of the way, actually grazing the gauze against his eye. And fuck it stung like a bitch. He tried to fish his eye drops from the fanny pack but once in the highway the redhead seemed too busy trying to move as much as possible in one direction or another to purposely make him miss his eye, he was sure. After wasting what felt like half of the little and ridiculously expensive bottle, he finally managed to catch his eye and immediately put the patch back in place, shooting the redhead another offended look, but the maniac driving seemed to be much too busy chewing on the candy he'd bought as if it were an used diaper.

Making a face, he decided to put on his seatbelt. It felt like having a trip with a lobotomized version of Shino. Only he was sure that even with half his brain gone, there would be far less chances of them crashing than with the crazy redhead next to him.

He wished he could share this particular revelation with the shorter man – perhaps ask him if maybe going back and buying some lipstick to go with all that masquara he wore would help improve his mood - when the demented redhead decided to start a fight with some prep kid driving an Eclipse Concept that casually enough was maybe a shade or two away from the exact color of the bubblegum he had purchased.

He was wondering what was it about teens and their need to buy the gayest colored cars human mind could conceive (and was just opening his mouth to voice such a thought) when he found himself with the familiar gun pointing at his face. He had time to notice there was a circle on the side of it, something eerily reminiscent of a dragon ball, but with only a black diamond in the middle instead of a star and four little dots at the sides. And then Gaara was pushing him out of the way and… aiming at gay purple car's driver!

'Stop that!' he howled and pushed at the redhead with all his mind 'What do you think you're doing?'

'Not your damn business- oh, snap, BITCH!' howled Gaara as the car was suddenly halted and made a few wild turns on the way, making the rich kid run away and the people in other cars stop and honk at them as they made a few wild turns before he had actually managed to get back the control over a wheel. After a moment of driving on much less astounding speed, the redhead finally managed to let go of the breath he was holding. They were alive and in one piece. Luck. Pure luck. There went the luck from his good deed.

'I'll fucking kill you.' he muttered, then rose the gun to the blond's face, not tearing off his eyes from the road 'You have ten seconds to convince me to only shoot your ear and not your head. Starting now.'- or maybe both ears – 'One.'

The blond immediately curled on himself in the furthest corner away from the other male, which considering he was in the passenger's seat, wasn't far at all.

'I'm too young to die, what you did was stupid, you were gonna get us killed and have the police after us, the world isn't at fault for you starting your period at the wrong date, you need me for something because you are insane, Pretty-pretty told you to be nice to me your uncle told you not to?' somehow he managed to say all of that without a single pause to breathe.

Gaara frowned, then chewed on his lower lip with bitter expression.

'Damn, you're right.' he muttered quietly, still gazing at the road in front of them 'This means I can't kill you.' And after that, he hit the blond squarely through the face, using the metal part of his gun. Only when he had finally hid it in his pocket he turned his angered face toward him. '…so don't let me forget about that and stay quiet and unmoving, understood? I tend to have short memory!'

And with that, he pushed the pedal gas once again, driving them away with the top speed. Darn. He needed something to calm down him later. Like a good prayer. Or maybe a whole mass. Yes, probably an Eucharist would do him good. And they were only two hours away from their last possible church. A few prayers were not going to hurt anyone. Even in his case.

The blond tried to move away, but unfortunately he was already glued to the door and had nowhere else to duck, so the gun hit him on his cheek, and worse enough, right on the cheekbone. So it hurt. It hurt like a bitch. He remained staring at the driver with teared up eyes and sniffled piteously a few times, then finally removed his hand to see there was actually blood on his hand. The gun had actually cut him, not badly (nowhere near as bad as the scars on his cheeks) but it was a cut nonetheless. He pressed his hand to the wound and left it there as he eyed the other

After a while, he slowly sat back correctly on the seat. After an even longer while, he reached for the passenger's mirror and adjusted it to measure the small cut. Eventually, he fished a band-aid from his pack and put it over the cut, then sunk on his seat and stared outside, lips pursed into a pout.

The redhead glanced at his doings every few moments, actually frowning when the blond decided to just reach for the mirror in h i s car and adjust it to his own needs. But he had enough of screeches of his hostage so he decided to let it go. The hurt expressions of the blond didn't impress him in the slightest, it seemed only to be grotesque enough for a hostage to pout at his soon-to-be murderer. Like if that would change anything. He was not going to attach himself to any prey he's got. In silence, he drove them away to his destination. The further they drove, the better it was. They were already late anyway.

It was a very entertaining trip for the prey, that it was. It was so entertaining Naruto's eyes kept going to digital clock installed under the air conditioner and gaped at it every time he expected it to have changed at least an hour and instead found that it had barely been five minutes since the last time he had looked at it. Gaara was driving still fast, but no longer as if he thought himself to be in a bumper car, which was awesome as far as he was concerned. What wasn't awesome was the silence.

There wasn't much to do, besides yawning, staring out of the window at an increasingly less populated area and listening to his iPod, which was running out of batteries pretty fast. He should had charged it that morning. Gaara didn't speak, the view didn't change and neither did the clock.

'This sucks.' he concluded, leaning on the window and deciding that all he was left with was start counting splattered animals on the road. 'Sucks and fails.'

'Sorry I can't entertain you with anything else.' answered Gaara mockingly. The interruption of the blond was a change in the atmosphere and he didn't deny him that. But he still was not going to argue with him over anything. 'This is not a picnic, idiot, be happy I'm letting you drive here and not in the trunk.'

Which, considering the way blond behaved, was possibly a good option to think about sometime soon. The blond looked at the other, surprised he had answered at all, but quickly slumped even more in his seats.

'It's not fair. I'm not even supposed to be here. I still don't even know who the hell was that guy.'

'Too bad for you, isn't it.' said Gaara and slightly turned the wheel. The car drove through another turn smoothly, passing some person who was trying to get an occasion. After a moment, the redhead reached out for a bottle of water and opened it, drinking up enough to moisten the lips but not enough to put down the thirst. They had to save the water, starting now. He put the bottle away. 'There's no way I'm letting you go, so you can shut up before you even start whining.'

'But why not?' the blond whimpered pathetically. 'It's not like you even need me to begin with, you have those videos, right? And besides, weren't you going to end up in this situation anyway?' His brow furrowed into an offended expression. 'That's right, you just burst in, ready to blow heads, didn't you? If you were gonna kill that guy anyway, why are you bothering with cleaning your name? Whatever Big Brother you pissed off at you would be just as pissed!'

'That's not any concern of yours.' said the redhead, not for once moving his eyes from the road 'But I can tell you that those records are pretty damn useless so I don't have much more of a choice either. So shut your trap.'

The blond gave him an unhappy look and slumped more on his seat, and if it hadn't been for the seatbelt now crossed over his chest he would probably have just simply fallen off it and into the small space at its feet. Obviously the other knew how odd and useless his presence would be in whatever meeting they planned to have, so why he was still hoarding him up was beyond his grasps of comprehension. Actually no, what was odd was that whoever was boss to this Revlon advertisement wanted him, because as far as his limited ability of perception took him, Gaara would have been much happier if he'd ended buried somewhere behind mummy guy's workshop.

As far as more immediate matters took him, however…

'Hey, Gaara…' he said after a few moment, not looking at the other and not moving from his slumped position. 'This might be just my abysmal knowledge of hitman etiquette talking, but don't you think the guy you tried to kill and the million other people in the road might have called the police on you and your flashy, Freudian slip of a car?'

Because he didn't think he wanted to be caught in the run with such lovely company as a murderer sought by just about everyone in the world. He didn't think his resume would agree with it. The redhead smiled, this time with much more tight smile. It looked supposedly much less warm than the accurate smile would.

'Oh, you're so smart, how could I have forgotten about that?' he said 'Maybe they're chasing us right now. Probably they are. You know, my car is so hard to miss.'

But beside saying that he didn't do anything beside that. Naruto stared at the shorter man, his expression confused.

'Yeah, that's what I just said.'

'One more word about my car and I'll glue you to the roof of it and make you ride like that until you'll roast tender.' was the answer. Obviously, talking about the car turned on the foul mood.

'Sure, whatever.' it seemed impossible, but somehow the blond slumped even more. 'But when we go to jail, just remember you are a lot prettier than me, so don't come crying when you get chosen as prison's bitch of the year.'

There was no response from the redhead's side. Sure, the blond was pissing him off, but what else was new? It all seemed that the man just didn't understand in what kind of situation he had found himself in and risked his life without thinking. And as much as he would liked to shove the gun down his throat, he had to drive him to the destination alive. Maybe not unharmed but at least speaking. But as far as the road went, he didn't plan on making any fuss now. It was too early to lose concentration.

The blond almost seemed disappointed by the lack of answer, but as the cut on his cheek was still throbbing pretty badly he opted from refraining about further comments. If anything, getting caught by the police might help him out in this situation. Unless said police wasn't really police or was just dirty police and getting money from whoever had killed the guy in the room. In that case, he was pretty screwed. With a sigh, he extracted from the fanny pack a brand new grape-flavored bubblegum, his beaten up MP3 and turned it on.

_I'm not like them But I can pretend The sun is gone, But I have a light The day is done, I'm having fun I_ _think I'm dumb Or maybe just happy… - _Smiling a bit, he adjusted the eye patch and blew a small bubble with the gum.It was still too hard to make big ones with it, but he'd work on it. -_ Think I'm just happy Think I'm just happy Think I'm just happy Not really, not right now…_ But he *would* be. Just as soon as Gaara realized he didn't have extra gas in his now overflowing trunk, and he hadn't even thought of getting a full tank at the station.


End file.
